Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour.
Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes.
Spotlight customer reviews:
Customer Rating: Summary: Necessity for Police Officers Comment: This book is great; filled with useful techniques in dealing with all sorts of people. The subject matter is presented in a straightforward, memorable layout. If you are in law enforcement or a similar field, it would benefit you to read this book. Whether you agree with the use of "verbal judo" or not, this could be your career-saver. Customer Rating: Summary: Assumes the reader is a negative person Comment: I read this book to see what kind of material was being used to train police officers in effective communication, and to see if there was any material in the book that would be useful to participants in an anger management class I am teaching. There are some useful things in the book, such as the necessity of understanding a conflict from the other person's perspective, responding with what the situation calls for to create calmness rather than what your ego might want, and the time honored counseling technique of making sure that you understand what the other person is saying by paraphrasing it back to them and asking them if you have understood. It is also useful to point out that most of a message is in the tone of voice and the body language more than in the words themselves.
The book could have been shorter by about half if the authors would have spent less time hyping in the book how wonderful verbal judo is and how it is going to change things for the reader and more time just presenting the guts of what they have to say. This kind of self-congratulatory writing just seems feels like sales hype. I have already bought the book- quit the bs and get down to the substance of what you have to say. Additionally, I found it very concerning that the authors seem to feel that their readers will feel good by being negative, and that that is the reader's natural impulse. Let me share this quote in that context:
From a list of principles to keep in mind on page 220: "If it makes you feel good, no good. If you say the thing that makes you feel the best, nine times out of ten you are making a mistake. Sadly, it makes you feel good to stroke your own ego, to put somebody down, to tear into someone."
It does?
That isn't true about me, and I imagine it is also not true about about many people who will read this book. To make this assumption in a book that talks about communication skills seems like a pretty serious error. Customer Rating: Summary: Indispensable Comment: Did you ever experience a situation when you talked to somebody and for one reason or another you were not heard? When you or your message was ignored or dismissed? I'm sure it didn't matter if the conversation involved your spouse, your children or your colleagues, the resulting feeling was equally intimidating and frustrating.
Mr. Thompson is an English literature professor who became a cop. Rest assured this man knows what he is talking about. The content of his book is very practical. It tells you how to deal with nice, difficult and whimpy people. It outlines what you shouldn't say in case you want to avoid conflict. You will understand that in certain situations a carefully conducted dialog can save lives.
When the starting position is one of conflict you want to create a raport. What do you say to defensive, fearful, impatient people? Do you lash out or are you aware of your purpose? Can you control your mind and your feelings enough to win your point?
You do not need to sport a uniform and a gun to put this technique into practice. It is about human contact, dignity and respect.
Mr. Thompson will teach you how to get your message across in a most effective way. However, be prepared to practice diligently, make mistakes and learn from them.
Verbal communication can be both serious and fun.
Quote:
'A man holding hostages once told me, "I want a million dollars and an airplane!"
I said, "So do I!" and I laughed. [---] I went on, "Sir we'd both like those things, wouldn't we ? But let me tell you something I think you already know. That's not going to happen.'
Who knows, you might need the same approach and attitude as a cilivian at home while talking to your teenager who's unwilling to hear you out and cooperate. But be prepared, the kid might use the same technique, Verbal Judo! Customer Rating: Summary: A must for anyone who deals with difficult people Comment: I am an acoustical and systems design consultant, and prior to that have held jobs in sound contracting and public assembly facility technical operations for a total of approximately 25 years. As anybody who has worked in the entertainment, performing arts, hospitality, or religious world can attest, I come into contact with more than my fair share of difficult people and tense situations.
This book and the courses authorized or taught by its author were highly recommended to me approximately 15 years ago by a police lieutenant who gave a guest lecture in a criminology class I was taking in college. This same officer also mentioned the book at an in-house training event at the university sports/concert arena where I worked at the time. It is with no small amount of embarrassment that I must report that it took me until last year to "get around to" buying and reading this book. I certainly could have used its advice, even years before it was written!
Suffice it to say that Verbal Judo is the type of book that is enlightening upon the initial read-through, but whose true value only comes from steady effort to change one's behaviors from long-held bad habits. I believe learning would be far more effective with ongoing practice and coaching, just as with a physical martial art. However, until such a dojo opens its doors in my fair city, I shall have to make do with re-reading the book and discussing its application with others who have been similarly blessed by its wisdom. Customer Rating: Summary: Outstanding book and program Comment: We are taught Verbal Judo in my line of work. It's an outstanding program. The book goes into how the program originated and explains it in detail. If you're into law enforcement, security or EMS this book should be mandatory reading.
