British soccer star Vinnie Jones stars as--no big stretch--a former soccer star named Danny "Mean Machine" Meehan who gets arrested for drunken assault and sent to prison for three years. Behind bars he finds himself embroiled in web of prison politics, caught between a governor with a gambling problem, a crime boss who lost a lot of money on a game that Meehan lost, and a motley crew of surly prisoners and guards with grudges. It all culminates in a soccer match between a team of guards, led by a hard-nosed warden, and a team of convicts, led by Meehan. Mean Machine is a remake of the Burt Reynolds movie The Longest Yard and the plot is pretty sure-fire; it's hard not to get caught up in the tensions of the big game. Plus, the comical game commentators give the movie a good jolt of humor. --Bret Fetzer
The weakest part of this film had to be the story. While the characters gave the story a voice as well as characters to root for, there was just something lacking with the story. It was strong, much stronger than most sports films of the same nature, but there was just that level of punch missing that you would expect from any typical British film. The direction may have had something to do with it, but not completely. I can't put my finger on the issue, and I think it has to do with the ability to recycle films - there is always something missing from each carbon copy. I need to see the original, but alone, "Mean Machine" was directed eagerly, but lacked the depth in the story. I wanted to see Danny's downfall in the beginning, I wanted to know more about him prior to his jail time, the idea of him fixing games seemed minimal in the overall scope of what Danny had to do with playing the guards. I needed that knowledge of whom he was and the struggles that he was facing. Sure, it wasn't meant to be this grand bio-pic, but something (as short as it was needed) had to be there. Maybe I am pulling at straws, but as I look at this picture as a whole, it was a stand-alone film that prided laughs (intelligent ones) as well as hard hitting action, but it needed something more. I could watch this film again, and I would go through the motions, but something was missing. It was like having the best piece of pie in the county, but realizing later that a scoop of ice cream would have been nice as a side. Unknown director Barry Skolnick places this film together well, but I feel as if he could have done more. I didn't need another "Lock, Stock", but I needed something that grabbed me further into.
Will I buy this film? Yep, I think I will just because I loathe the 20-minutes of the Sandler version and prefer to give others a taste of what decent remakes are like, but I cannot say that it is the best film watched. My review seems scattered at best, and as I read through it again, I don't think I have quite the grasp on this film as I hoped. I liked it, not loved it, and I could watch it again, but not too often. Bubbles have more consistency than I do with "Mean Machine". Maybe it was Charlie Fletcher's screenplay, but honestly I think I am just grabbing at air. I think what could have toppled me with this film would have been some special features. Something to show me how it was made, an audio commentary to give me a voice for the director, something that would have made me look deeper into this film. "Mean Machine" isn't bland, but I needed a better flavor.
Overall, I liked it. I am growing tired of this review and think it will throw others off the trail of this invitingly fresh film, so I am going to stop. I think everyone should watch this. Sure, it doesn't have the bathroom humor of Sandler's version, but it does provide the Brits an opportunity to demonstrate that their "football" is just as exciting as ours.
Grade: *** out of ***** Customer Rating: Summary: Mean Machine Comment: A British translation of "The Longest Yard," using Soccer instead of american football. It is a fun little movie, with typical Brit humor. Customer Rating: Summary: you've gotta see this movie. Comment: If you're a Guy Ritchie fan, or at least think you are, the nthis movie is for you! Customer Rating: Summary: mean machine Comment: My son, being a hugh soccer fan liked it a lot. I liked the "longest yard" story line. Customer Rating: Summary: Great Film!!! Comment: Excellent combination of comedy and action. Very interesting to have a British version also. Vinnie Jones and Jason Statham both are wonderful actors in this film. I've watched it many times and will watch it many times more!
